








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1277 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 809 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




94 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,343 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1546 | 66% |
| Smokes | 201 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 294 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 302 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,409,700 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1910 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aerocliq | 75% | 171 |
| #2 | barrett | 74% | 121 |
| #3 | Gordon ☢ Freesay | 70% | 169 |
| #4 | pamke | 69% | 87 |
| #5 | aero | 67% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cache Man | 89 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | chunchy | 61 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | sonk | 43 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | fakeu | 30 | 0.0106 |
| #5 | Bark Obamna | 25 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cache Man | 1339 | 0.12 | 31 min |
| #2 | chunchy | 961 | 0.17 | 25 min |
| #3 | fakeu | 799 | 0.28 | 15 min |
| #4 | aerocliq | 527 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #5 | sonk | 523 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cache Man | +5.04 | 74 | 48 |
| #2 | Anthony | +4.77 | 71 | 62 |
| #3 | barrett | +3.53 | 81 | 44 |
| #4 | Gordon ☢ Freesay | +2.36 | 50 | 62 |
| #5 | aerocliq | +1.99 | 39 | 62 |





