








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 649 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 266 matches | ||
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5606 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,789 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5474 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4887 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6233 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7195 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,024,599 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 873 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alxcb0b | 59% | 122 |
| #2 | aTTe | 56% | 62 |
| #3 | MrSuperrs | 56% | 216 |
| #4 | 1totemic | 55% | 398 |
| #5 | Dr. Edger | 53% | 429 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fella | 25 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | 1totemic | 20 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Dr. Edger | 19 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | kazub | 19 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | alxcb0b | 19 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Edger | 2510 | 0.28 | 63 min |
| #2 | 1totemic | 1974 | 0.24 | 61 min |
| #3 | MrSuperrs | 1028 | 0.23 | 32 min |
| #4 | fella | 1005 | 0.10 | 31 min |
| #5 | kazub | 996 | 0.27 | 29 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alxcb0b | +6.16 | 92 | 76 |
| #2 | kazub | +1.89 | 68 | 71 |
| #3 | 1totemic | +1.01 | 82 | 68 |
| #4 | MrSuperrs | +0.73 | 75 | 75 |
| #5 | k0tka | +0.73 | 71 | 58 |





