








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 956 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 345 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 102 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8047 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,623 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13097 | 31% |
| Smokes | 10531 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 8899 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 9096 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,239,829 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 621 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aTTe | 66% | 44 |
| #2 | alxcb0b | 61% | 98 |
| #3 | MrSuperrs | 60% | 179 |
| #4 | kazub | 56% | 162 |
| #5 | 1totemic | 56% | 302 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0tka | 30 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | alxcb0b | 24 | 0.0128 |
| #3 | kazub | 23 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | fella | 16 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | 1totemic | 15 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1totemic | 1511 | 0.24 | 48 min |
| #2 | k0tka | 974 | 0.11 | 22 min |
| #3 | kazub | 908 | 0.27 | 26 min |
| #4 | MrSuperrs | 840 | 0.23 | 26 min |
| #5 | Kurjen Jimmy | 806 | 0.20 | 21 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alxcb0b | +5.67 | 89 | 78 |
| #2 | kazub | +2.16 | 69 | 71 |
| #3 | 1totemic | +1.25 | 82 | 69 |
| #4 | MrSuperrs | +1.11 | 76 | 75 |
| #5 | k0tka | +0.86 | 69 | 59 |





