








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 594 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 101 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5560 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,630 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4942 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4706 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3357 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4625 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,280,633 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alxcb0b | 61% | 129 |
| #2 | 1totemic | 55% | 319 |
| #3 | Dr. Edger | 55% | 389 |
| #4 | MrSuperrs | 54% | 171 |
| #5 | Lauri (gamer) | 52% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0tka | 49 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | kazub | 24 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Dr. Edger | 23 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | alxcb0b | 20 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | 1totemic | 16 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Edger | 2211 | 0.28 | 55 min |
| #2 | 1totemic | 1535 | 0.24 | 48 min |
| #3 | kazub | 1201 | 0.27 | 35 min |
| #4 | k0tka | 1159 | 0.11 | 25 min |
| #5 | Kurjen Jimmy | 819 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alxcb0b | +6.15 | 91 | 77 |
| #2 | kazub | +1.66 | 71 | 72 |
| #3 | 1totemic | +0.96 | 82 | 68 |
| #4 | MrSuperrs | +0.95 | 74 | 73 |
| #5 | k0tka | +0.84 | 73 | 58 |





