








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 431 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 304 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4922 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,355 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6614 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4809 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2401 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 4531 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $443,188 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 342 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GROLAR | 60% | 43 |
| #2 | L2 | 53% | 78 |
| #3 | DanteMav | 52% | 132 |
| #4 | Ɗαяк_Oяcнєѕтяα ❦ | 51% | 109 |
| #5 | Tacod-Cute | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ⭕⃤ ʍʏɦօʀռʏʊռƈʟɛ- | 44% | 63 |
| #10 | 𝓴𝓲𝓽𝓼𝓾𝓷𝓮✤ | 43% | 46 |
| #11 | SeaShock | 41% | 29 |
| #12 | D-Law66.シノゲカイ | 39% | 38 |
| #13 | Player | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DarkeLord | 13 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | L2 | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Moori | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | D-Law66.シノゲカイ | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | DanteMav | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DarkeLord | 1143 | 0.24 | 30 min |
| #2 | DanteMav | 486 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | F1nven | 324 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | L2 | 305 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | Ɗαяк_Oяcнєѕтяα ❦ | 290 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Player | +6.38 | 86 | 75 |
| #2 | Ɗєᴠᴠє ƤƖαуєя ❦ | +4.57 | 79 | 70 |
| #3 | Ɗαяк_Oяcнєѕтяα ❦ | +1.68 | 70 | 65 |
| #4 | GROLAR | +0.93 | 60 | 66 |
| #5 | DarkeLord | +0.78 | 61 | 66 |





