








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 491 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 254 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,442 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3708 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2241 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3094 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1399 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $965,779 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p!ⒸO ®™ | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | GROLAR | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | D-Law66.シノゲカイ | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | ⭕⃤ ʍʏɦօʀռʏʊռƈʟɛ- | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | DarkeLord | 52% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | DanteMav | 44% | 81 |
| #17 | Here Kitty Kitty | 40% | 30 |
| #18 | Forever Alone | 39% | 23 |
| #19 | John Wick Horse | 38% | 42 |
| #20 | ballex | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Player | 20 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | Ɗєᴠᴠє ƤƖαуєя ❦ | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | DarkeLord | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Moori | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | F1nven | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DarkeLord | 601 | 0.27 | 14 min |
| #2 | Player | 553 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #3 | Ɗєᴠᴠє ƤƖαуєя ❦ | 494 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #4 | F1nven | 406 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | DanteMav | 281 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Player | +4.60 | 85 | 72 |
| #2 | Ɗєᴠᴠє ƤƖαуєя ❦ | +4.36 | 76 | 69 |
| #3 | Ɗαяк_Oяcнєѕтяα ❦ | +2.16 | 69 | 67 |
| #4 | p!ⒸO ®™ | +0.61 | 58 | 70 |
| #5 | DarkeLord | +0.50 | 59 | 66 |





