








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 216 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2311 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,783 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2997 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1764 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2543 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3479 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $928,816 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | DanteMav | 44% | 115 |
| #12 | DarkeLord | 44% | 140 |
| #13 | ⭕⃤ ʍʏɦօʀռʏʊռƈʟɛ- | 42% | 43 |
| #14 | 𝓴𝓲𝓽𝓼𝓾𝓷𝓮✤ | 39% | 44 |
| #15 | Tacod-Cute | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Player | 21 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Ɗєᴠᴠє ƤƖαуєя ❦ | 16 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | DarkeLord | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Moori | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Ɗαяк_Oяcнєѕтяα ❦ | 4 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DarkeLord | 774 | 0.26 | 20 min |
| #2 | Ɗєᴠᴠє ƤƖαуєя ❦ | 762 | 0.24 | 17 min |
| #3 | Player | 594 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #4 | Ɗαяк_Oяcнєѕтяα ❦ | 518 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #5 | DanteMav | 434 | 0.19 | 10 min |





