








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 548 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2685 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,801 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1557 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1789 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1472 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1983 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,231,986 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Desca | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | La colle | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | Yet - E | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | Noname | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | Frantze | 47% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Comte Tab DeWesh | 44% | 25 |
| #9 | Antwo | 41% | 63 |
| #10 | Jipeks | 37% | 91 |
| #11 | Patchenko | 37% | 43 |
| #12 | KoolMan__ | 24% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jipeks | 51 | 0.0273 |
| #2 | Frantze | 41 | 0.0221 |
| #3 | Antwo | 37 | 0.0287 |
| #4 | Captain Israel | 34 | 0.0204 |
| #5 | KoolMan__ | 16 | 0.0205 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frantze | 539 | 0.29 | 11 min |
| #2 | Patchenko | 262 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #3 | Jipeks | 227 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Captain Israel | 173 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | KoolMan__ | 152 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jipeks | +4.45 | 82 | 49 |
| #2 | Comte Tab DeWesh | +1.76 | 65 | 50 |
| #3 | La colle | +1.57 | 67 | 37 |
| #4 | Noname | +1.56 | 45 | 26 |
| #5 | EUL GLAUDE | +0.57 | 55 | 44 |





