








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 550 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 187 matches | ||
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




223 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4060 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,187 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 724 | 23% |
| Smokes | 591 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1628 | 51% |
| Molotovs | 244 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,620,023 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 467 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Comte Tab DeWesh | 57% | 49 |
| #2 | SamuelTv | 41% | 63 |
| #3 | Sam gratlékouilles | 39% | 174 |
| #4 | tu fumes pas tout les soirs | 39% | 151 |
| #5 | Vosgrone | 38% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Révérang Karter | 130 | 0.0395 |
| #2 | tu fumes pas tout les soirs | 111 | 0.0366 |
| #3 | Sam gratlékouilles | 66 | 0.0189 |
| #4 | Vosgrone | 20 | 0.0106 |
| #5 | SamuelTv | 19 | 0.0147 |





