








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 980 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 285 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




316 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9670 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,658 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4444 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4561 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3230 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 6423 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,775,502 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2568 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Antwo | 95 | 0.0288 |
| #2 | tu fumes pas tout les soirs | 84 | 0.0353 |
| #3 | Sam gratlékouilles | 66 | 0.0242 |
| #4 | KoolMan__ | 46 | 0.0226 |
| #5 | Vosgrone | 31 | 0.0200 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sam gratlékouilles | 1083 | 0.40 | 19 min |
| #2 | Yet - E / Saitama - Punch Fatal | 972 | 0.22 | 29 min |
| #3 | Vosgrone | 606 | 0.39 | 7 min |
| #4 | loup | 458 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #5 | KoolMan__ | 456 | 0.22 | 10 min |





