








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 238 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Esplay | 9 matches | 1,763 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2177 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,786 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2002 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1802 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2076 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1906 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $871,876 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Frank | 47% | 15 |
| #9 | Pekka Ariola | 46% | 24 |
| #10 | xJebbz | 41% | 17 |
| #11 | MF DOOM | 39% | 18 |
| #12 | BELLA CIAO | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IZY | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | phyx | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | iba💯 | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | BELLA CIAO | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | xJebbz | 3 | 0.0081 |





