








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 914 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7789 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,465 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12818 | 34% |
| Smokes | 9500 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6353 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 8794 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,232,336 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1375 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | br0dh@V | 82% | 78 |
| #2 | cHa0s - | 77% | 104 |
| #3 | hyPerTEXT <3 | 76% | 130 |
| #4 | staNNN | 75% | 142 |
| #5 | Bruh. | 74% | 576 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | j1 | 73% | 291 |
| #10 | ASH | 71% | 218 |
| #11 | PR! | 71% | 102 |
| #12 | WaTeR | 69% | 446 |
| #13 | ROCKitsme | 58% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WaTeR | 88 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Bruh. | 44 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | j1 | 24 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | 911 | 22 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | brokenpegs | 20 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bruh. | 2616 | 0.22 | 64 min |
| #2 | brokenpegs | 2494 | 0.29 | 68 min |
| #3 | WaTeR | 2150 | 0.24 | 58 min |
| #4 | 911 | 2135 | 0.27 | 58 min |
| #5 | ASH | 786 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hyPerTEXT <3 | +3.32 | 78 | 60 |
| #2 | Bruh. | +2.27 | 74 | 64 |
| #3 | cHa0s - | +2.04 | 72 | 76 |
| #4 | 911 | +1.54 | 65 | 72 |
| #5 | br0dh@V | +1.23 | 48 | 71 |





