








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 537 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 600 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




118 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7332 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,866 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8054 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5350 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4241 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5221 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,109,405 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cHa0s - | 87% | 45 |
| #2 | hyPerTEXT <3 | 79% | 43 |
| #3 | j1 | 75% | 235 |
| #4 | brokenpegs | 75% | 267 |
| #5 | 911 | 73% | 348 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Bruh. | 71% | 343 |
| #7 | ASH | 70% | 183 |
| #8 | ⭕⃤ blood_thirsty | 69% | 446 |
| #9 | staNNN | 67% | 60 |
| #10 | ROCKitsme | 60% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bruh. | 32 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | j1 | 21 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | 911 | 18 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | ASH | 13 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | ⭕⃤ blood_thirsty | 12 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⭕⃤ blood_thirsty | 2285 | 0.25 | 59 min |
| #2 | 911 | 1469 | 0.21 | 37 min |
| #3 | brokenpegs | 1462 | 0.28 | 39 min |
| #4 | Bruh. | 1269 | 0.18 | 30 min |
| #5 | ASH | 566 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hyPerTEXT <3 | +4.57 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | cHa0s - | +3.36 | 74 | 75 |
| #3 | 911 | +1.96 | 69 | 69 |
| #4 | brokenpegs | +1.88 | 79 | 70 |
| #5 | Bruh. | +1.82 | 74 | 62 |





