








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 416 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 356 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3092 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,198 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1740 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2453 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3171 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3834 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,248,720 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 433 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | staNNN | 83% | 30 |
| #2 | cHa0s - | 79% | 42 |
| #3 | hyPerTEXT <3 | 78% | 45 |
| #4 | Bruh. | 77% | 202 |
| #5 | ASH | 77% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | WaTeR | 75% | 235 |
| #7 | 911 | 75% | 230 |
| #8 | brokenpegs | 75% | 189 |
| #9 | ⭕⃤ blood_thirsty | 73% | 291 |
| #10 | ROCKitsme | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WaTeR | 45 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Bruh. | 16 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | 911 | 13 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | ⭕⃤ blood_thirsty | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | brokenpegs | 9 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⭕⃤ blood_thirsty | 1455 | 0.25 | 37 min |
| #2 | 911 | 1080 | 0.23 | 29 min |
| #3 | WaTeR | 1071 | 0.23 | 29 min |
| #4 | brokenpegs | 1033 | 0.27 | 28 min |
| #5 | Bruh. | 785 | 0.20 | 20 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hyPerTEXT <3 | +3.56 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | cHa0s - | +2.31 | 63 | 79 |
| #3 | Bruh. | +2.20 | 74 | 65 |
| #4 | staNNN | +2.19 | 70 | 56 |
| #5 | 911 | +1.85 | 67 | 70 |





