








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1503 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 546 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6932 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,946 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8937 | 37% |
| Smokes | 4807 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4998 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5204 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,457,499 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | br0dh@V | 85% | 39 |
| #2 | staNNN | 82% | 90 |
| #3 | cHa0s - | 81% | 98 |
| #4 | hyPerTEXT <3 | 78% | 100 |
| #5 | WaTeR | 75% | 267 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | j1 | 75% | 189 |
| #8 | ⭕⃤ blood_thirsty | 74% | 422 |
| #9 | 911 | 74% | 269 |
| #10 | ASH | 73% | 129 |
| #11 | ROCKitsme | 63% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WaTeR | 44 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | Bruh. | 25 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤ blood_thirsty | 15 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | 911 | 14 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | ASH | 12 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⭕⃤ blood_thirsty | 2242 | 0.26 | 59 min |
| #2 | Bruh. | 1472 | 0.20 | 36 min |
| #3 | 911 | 1374 | 0.26 | 38 min |
| #4 | WaTeR | 1176 | 0.22 | 30 min |
| #5 | ASH | 430 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hyPerTEXT <3 | +3.08 | 79 | 60 |
| #2 | cHa0s - | +2.47 | 69 | 76 |
| #3 | br0dh@V | +2.12 | 52 | 73 |
| #4 | Bruh. | +2.00 | 74 | 63 |
| #5 | brokenpegs | +1.50 | 77 | 72 |





