








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 153 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2835 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,881 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1912 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2015 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2120 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1834 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $692,906 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John-David[sc] | 74% | 27 |
| #2 | h4 | 70% | 43 |
| #3 | eli LPDQ^ | 68% | 47 |
| #4 | .bru | 68% | 25 |
| #5 | ROU✘CARNAGE[lpdq] | 67% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | KAYMAAKjjang | 59% | 29 |
| #12 | Yaki.C | 58% | 38 |
| #13 | chan`cyalan.com | 56% | 39 |
| #14 | bLd | 56% | 32 |
| #15 | Svetlana | 55% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Svetlana | 7 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | ROU✘CARNAGE[lpdq] | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | 👶TaR👶 | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | eli LPDQ^ | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | h4 | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyo* | 366 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | KaiiiKo | 253 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | chan`cyalan.com | 240 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #4 | ROU✘CARNAGE[lpdq] | 176 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Yaki.C | 153 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyo* | +2.32 | 84 | 74 |
| #2 | h4 | +2.18 | 82 | 70 |
| #3 | zalek | +1.40 | 77 | 63 |
| #4 | KaiiiKo | +0.77 | 58 | 67 |
| #5 | 👶TaR👶 | +0.56 | 50 | 69 |





