








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 412 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 172 matches | ||
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2671 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,134 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3232 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3577 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2197 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3128 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $909,750 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xpRim | 76% | 21 |
| #2 | eli LPDQ^ | 68% | 28 |
| #3 | zalek | 67% | 57 |
| #4 | Garek[lpdq] | 64% | 36 |
| #5 | chan`cyalan.com | 64% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | John-David[sc] | 59% | 70 |
| #12 | bLd | 57% | 68 |
| #13 | OMYA | 56% | 18 |
| #14 | 👶TaR👶 | 54% | 65 |
| #15 | h4 | 53% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 👶TaR👶 | 10 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Garek[lpdq] | 5 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | John-David[sc] | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Svetlana | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | bLd | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyo* | 342 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | chan`cyalan.com | 257 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #3 | Garek[lpdq] | 255 | 0.35 | 7 min |
| #4 | bLd | 218 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | Yaki.C | 202 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyo* | +2.91 | 82 | 74 |
| #2 | xpRim | +2.66 | 64 | 68 |
| #3 | chan`cyalan.com | +1.92 | 69 | 78 |
| #4 | KAYMAAKjjang | +1.59 | 67 | 72 |
| #5 | h4 | +1.53 | 82 | 66 |





