








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 196 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2694 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,332 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1509 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1664 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2290 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1869 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $581,921 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .bru | 78% | 18 |
| #2 | bLd | 75% | 20 |
| #3 | zalek | 70% | 43 |
| #4 | Kyo* | 65% | 65 |
| #5 | dem <3 PinkSpider | 63% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #18 | eli LPDQ^ | 53% | 19 |
| #19 | KRAMy | 52% | 23 |
| #20 | Flappy - | 50% | 16 |
| #21 | OMYA | 36% | 25 |
| #22 | KAYMAAKjjang | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ROU✘CARNAGE[lpdq] | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | John-David[sc] | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | 👶TaR👶 | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Svetlana | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | zalek | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyo* | 254 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | ROU✘CARNAGE[lpdq] | 218 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | chan`cyalan.com | 214 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #4 | Garek[lpdq] | 203 | 0.35 | 6 min |
| #5 | Yaki.C | 148 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rom | +1.86 | 94 | 69 |
| #2 | Kyo* | +1.84 | 88 | 73 |
| #3 | zalek | +1.70 | 79 | 62 |
| #4 | dem <3 PinkSpider | +1.67 | 86 | 63 |
| #5 | h4 | +1.61 | 83 | 66 |





