








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 123 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1332 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,511 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1119 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1200 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 897 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1295 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $473,591 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mickss | 100% | 12 |
| #2 | Yaki.C | 86% | 7 |
| #3 | syz | 80% | 10 |
| #4 | xpRim | 71% | 17 |
| #5 | John-David[sc] | 70% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | 👶TaR👶 | 60% | 15 |
| #15 | h4 | 53% | 19 |
| #16 | arthur | 50% | 8 |
| #17 | oXiaS4YOU***** | 44% | 9 |
| #18 | .bru | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John-David[sc] | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | KaiiiKo | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | zalek | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | ROU✘CARNAGE[lpdq] | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | h4 | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyo* | 328 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | chan`cyalan.com | 273 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #3 | KaiiiKo | 224 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | KAYMAAKjjang | 112 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | zalek | 103 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyo* | +2.20 | 84 | 74 |
| #2 | xpRim | +1.50 | 68 | 69 |
| #3 | KAYMAAKjjang | +1.34 | 66 | 74 |
| #4 | Yaki.C | +1.12 | 67 | 79 |
| #5 | 👶TaR👶 | +0.95 | 54 | 71 |





