








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 556 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 149 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2797 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,569 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2461 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3121 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3585 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2402 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $911,284 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chan`cyalan.com | 84% | 19 |
| #2 | bisou | 73% | 26 |
| #3 | .bru | 68% | 37 |
| #4 | Garek[lpdq] | 65% | 26 |
| #5 | Kyo* | 64% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | ROU✘CARNAGE[lpdq] | 54% | 65 |
| #11 | Yaki.C | 53% | 126 |
| #12 | Svetlana | 51% | 98 |
| #13 | bLd | 48% | 80 |
| #14 | John-David[sc] | 47% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Svetlana | 13 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | ROU✘CARNAGE[lpdq] | 8 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | John-David[sc] | 8 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | Yaki.C | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | bLd | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yaki.C | 463 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | bLd | 280 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Svetlana | 243 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | KaiiiKo | 223 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | ROU✘CARNAGE[lpdq] | 211 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyo* | +3.36 | 83 | 74 |
| #2 | zalek | +2.31 | 72 | 62 |
| #3 | h4 | +2.19 | 81 | 62 |
| #4 | Yaki.C | +1.22 | 82 | 74 |
| #5 | 👶TaR👶 | +1.07 | 55 | 72 |





