








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 161 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1284 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,391 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2009 | 37% |
| Smokes | 788 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1743 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 851 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $422,923 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | White Meat𐂃 | 33% | 27 |
| #14 | yuqs | 33% | 48 |
| #15 | xXxpoosislayerxXxZ | 33% | 49 |
| #16 | Red Bull Ampol Racing | 29% | 14 |
| #17 | ADOLF STALIN!! | 24% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yuqs | 23 | 0.0225 |
| #2 | Faisal | 22 | 0.0193 |
| #3 | White Meat𐂃 | 16 | 0.0295 |
| #4 | Sleepin.ponyo | 13 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | TEMPORALIS | 11 | 0.0341 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 猎刚猪 | 245 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #2 | yuqs | 232 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #3 | Faisal | 211 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | White Meat𐂃 | 168 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| #5 | Sleepin.ponyo | 118 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TEMPORALIS | +5.14 | 43 | 77 |
| #2 | Schwäble-Bub | +5.03 | 72 | 47 |
| #3 | yuqs | +4.78 | 69 | 74 |
| #4 | Faisal | +4.73 | 59 | 73 |
| #5 | White Meat𐂃 | +3.72 | 54 | 74 |





