








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 373 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 204 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2765 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,762 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1601 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1715 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1198 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1248 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,113,060 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β savant | 55% | 137 |
| #2 | raWπ | 52% | 77 |
| #3 | Jim | 51% | 122 |
| #4 | ITzJooi | 46% | 114 |
| #5 | Krimbo | 43% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | raWπ | 52% | 77 |
| #3 | Jim | 51% | 122 |
| #4 | ITzJooi | 46% | 114 |
| #5 | Krimbo | 43% | 74 |
| #6 | Epitaph | 36% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jim | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | ITzJooi | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | β savant | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | raWπ | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β savant | 453 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | ITzJooi | 349 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Jim | 263 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Epitaph | 135 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | raWπ | 46 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β savant | +2.08 | 81 | 73 |
| #2 | HanC | +1.87 | 79 | 54 |
| #3 | ITzJooi | +0.10 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | Jim | +0.06 | 79 | 60 |
| #5 | raWπ | -0.54 | 72 | 51 |





