








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
447 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,894 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 320 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1329 | 46% |
| HE Grenades | 522 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 723 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $362,616 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drasun | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | glebary | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | HanC | 43% | 74 |
| #4 | Faizon™ | 41% | 22 |
| #5 | CapToon | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Dr. Deuce | 31% | 13 |
| #8 | JackieLafon | 29% | 7 |
| #9 | ChrisFD | 29% | 7 |
| #10 | smithyyy | 25% | 8 |
| #11 | o_O Kole O_o | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HanC | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | CapToon | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HanC | 98 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | smithyyy | 38 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | Dr. Deuce | 33 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Faizon™ | 32 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | CapToon | 22 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HanC | +6.95 | 83 | 51 |
| #2 | glebary | +4.91 | 78 | 43 |
| #3 | Drasun | +3.42 | 73 | 55 |
| #4 | ChrisFD | +2.10 | 49 | 61 |
| #5 | smithyyy | +1.81 | 82 | 75 |





