








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 488 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 417 matches | ||
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6392 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6638 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6165 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5341 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4967 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,834,982 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 373 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaxon ll | 63% | 54 |
| #2 | ✪Blis5 | 63% | 112 |
| #3 | LWalker101 | 60% | 104 |
| #4 | RXPK | 56% | 114 |
| #5 | Jim | 55% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Jim | 55% | 165 |
| #6 | ✘ savant | 53% | 130 |
| #7 | Oh™ | 53% | 319 |
| #8 | ITzJooi | 53% | 405 |
| #9 | HanC | 36% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jim | 13 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | ✪Blis5 | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | ITzJooi | 7 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Oh™ | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | LWalker101 | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ITzJooi | 1541 | 0.17 | 34 min |
| #2 | Oh™ | 574 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #3 | ✘ savant | 416 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #4 | ✪Blis5 | 354 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #5 | RXPK | 353 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✘ savant | +1.77 | 83 | 74 |
| #2 | ITzJooi | +0.87 | 76 | 61 |
| #3 | Epitaph | +0.62 | 85 | 58 |
| #4 | Jim | +0.43 | 79 | 54 |
| #5 | HanC | +0.19 | 77 | 49 |





