








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 265 matches | ||
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3418 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1111 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2759 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2686 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2974 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,340,311 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BP | 65% | 49 |
| #2 | Dรญomรกch Opal | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | Cutie Jebediah :( | 61% | 38 |
| #4 | Unskilled_For3ver | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | decky | 57% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | โ savant | 50% | 126 |
| #13 | Jim | 49% | 98 |
| #14 | MaDzilla | 46% | 28 |
| #15 | ITzJooi | 46% | 97 |
| #16 | Epitaph | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jim | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | โ savant | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | ITzJooi | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Unskilled_For3ver | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | HanC | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | โ savant | 436 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | ITzJooi | 311 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Nigh | 258 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #4 | BP | 218 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | Jim | 217 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BP | +2.61 | 77 | 70 |
| #2 | โ savant | +2.03 | 81 | 71 |
| #3 | Nigh | +1.93 | 79 | 68 |
| #4 | decky | +1.70 | 65 | 64 |
| #5 | Yeshua | +1.65 | 73 | 60 |





