








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 533 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 352 matches | ||
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 149 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4534 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,406 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3650 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4864 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4307 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4585 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,669,625 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1173 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Acenio | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | ✘ savant | 56% | 288 |
| #3 | RXPK | 55% | 65 |
| #4 | Epitaph | 55% | 165 |
| #5 | HanC | 51% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | HanC | 51% | 122 |
| #6 | LWalker101 | 51% | 89 |
| #7 | Oh™ | 50% | 189 |
| #8 | ITzJooi | 49% | 314 |
| #9 | raW🍊 | 49% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LWalker101 | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | ITzJooi | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | ✘ savant | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Oh™ | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Epitaph | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ITzJooi | 1101 | 0.16 | 27 min |
| #2 | ✘ savant | 962 | 0.15 | 27 min |
| #3 | Epitaph | 494 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #4 | Oh™ | 342 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | HanC | 233 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✘ savant | +2.24 | 82 | 71 |
| #2 | Epitaph | +0.74 | 85 | 58 |
| #3 | Jim | +0.69 | 81 | 57 |
| #4 | ITzJooi | +0.54 | 74 | 64 |
| #5 | Acenio | +0.53 | 68 | 53 |





