








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1421 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 770 matches | ||
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Wingman | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11789 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,009 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12693 | 32% |
| Smokes | 9390 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 8409 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 9517 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,954,681 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 539 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Acenio | 53% | 60 |
| #2 | Epitaph | 53% | 405 |
| #3 | LWalker101 | 53% | 219 |
| #4 | ✘ savant | 50% | 292 |
| #5 | Jim | 49% | 314 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Jim | 49% | 314 |
| #6 | RXPK | 48% | 162 |
| #7 | Oh™ | 48% | 317 |
| #8 | raW🍊 | 46% | 97 |
| #9 | HanC | 46% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jim | 19 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | LWalker101 | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Oh™ | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Acenio | 8 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Epitaph | 3 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Epitaph | 1296 | 0.15 | 31 min |
| #2 | ✘ savant | 1004 | 0.15 | 28 min |
| #3 | Jim | 687 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #4 | Oh™ | 527 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #5 | RXPK | 464 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✘ savant | +1.75 | 82 | 71 |
| #2 | Acenio | +1.10 | 66 | 51 |
| #3 | ITzJooi | +1.05 | 77 | 62 |
| #4 | Epitaph | +0.41 | 87 | 58 |
| #5 | HanC | +0.27 | 78 | 57 |





