








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 314 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1703 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,123 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1495 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1154 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1191 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1283 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,187,163 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 997 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juan Sebastián Hermano | 62% | 45 |
| #2 | thaisoni | 61% | 54 |
| #3 | La Reyna <3 | 58% | 106 |
| #4 | 𝕽𝖊𝖋𝖑𝖊𝖝 | 51% | 35 |
| #5 | Vaniks | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Vaniks | 51% | 35 |
| #6 | | 49% | 43 |
| #7 | (っ◔◡◔)っ | 48% | 102 |
| #8 | Smartie | 48% | 160 |
| #9 | M4fChees~ | 45% | 187 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M4fChees~ | 24 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | 𝕽𝖊𝖋𝖑𝖊𝖝 | 6 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | La Reyna <3 | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | thaisoni | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Smartie | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M4fChees~ | 344 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | (っ◔◡◔)っ | 302 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Smartie | 243 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | La Reyna <3 | 145 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Juan Sebastián Hermano | 84 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juan Sebastián Hermano | +4.78 | 61 | 55 |
| #2 | | +3.08 | 69 | 58 |
| #3 | Smartie | +2.84 | 60 | 57 |
| #4 | La Reyna <3 | +1.27 | 56 | 35 |
| #5 | M4fChees~ | +0.57 | 67 | 48 |





