










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 630 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Anubis | 103 matches | ||
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Wingman | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5932 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2746 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4641 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 850 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 3320 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,118,084 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 282 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thaisoni | 63% | 101 |
| #2 | Juan Sebastián Hermano | 61% | 109 |
| #3 | 𝕽𝖊𝖋𝖑𝖊𝖝 | 58% | 93 |
| #4 | yuh | 58% | 106 |
| #5 | Smartie | 57% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | jespersietheunissen | 55% | 31 |
| #8 | (っ◔◡◔)っ | 54% | 133 |
| #9 | M4fChees~ | 52% | 223 |
| #10 | Vaniks | 49% | 51 |
| #11 | stanneke2009 | 48% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M4fChees~ | 34 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | 𝕽𝖊𝖋𝖑𝖊𝖝 | 22 | 0.0118 |
| #3 | yuh | 15 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | thaisoni | 11 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | stanneke2009 | 9 | 0.0160 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M4fChees~ | 391 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | (っ◔◡◔)っ | 384 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | Smartie | 283 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | yuh | 171 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Juan Sebastián Hermano | 170 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juan Sebastián Hermano | +4.11 | 63 | 55 |
| #2 | | +3.47 | 71 | 64 |
| #3 | Smartie | +3.15 | 62 | 57 |
| #4 | La Reyna <3 | +1.57 | 58 | 38 |
| #5 | M4fChees~ | +1.12 | 71 | 50 |





