








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 869 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Anubis | 144 matches | ||
| Wingman | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5881 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,444 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2953 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2941 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3627 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2923 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,321,226 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 616 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | 56% | 97 |
| #2 | thaisoni | 53% | 124 |
| #3 | Juan Sebastián Hermano | 53% | 96 |
| #4 | La Reyna <3 | 52% | 223 |
| #5 | Maurice | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yuh | 21 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | 𝕽𝖊𝖋𝖑𝖊𝖝 | 16 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | thaisoni | 14 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | La Reyna <3 | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Smartie | 11 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (っ◔◡◔)っ | 515 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | Smartie | 399 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | La Reyna <3 | 317 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | yuh | 310 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | | 189 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juan Sebastián Hermano | +3.60 | 58 | 53 |
| #2 | | +3.31 | 69 | 63 |
| #3 | Smartie | +3.10 | 63 | 56 |
| #4 | M4fChees~ | +1.32 | 68 | 49 |
| #5 | Maurice | +1.31 | 41 | 39 |





