








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 374 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 113 matches | ||
| Wingman | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




88 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4120 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,432 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1719 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2466 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2168 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2079 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,615,250 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rizzle | 76% | 45 |
| #2 | Juan Sebastián Hermano | 65% | 69 |
| #3 | La Reyna <3 | 63% | 101 |
| #4 | Smartie | 62% | 50 |
| #5 | stanneke2009 | 62% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Vaniks | 55% | 166 |
| #9 | M4fChees~ | 53% | 124 |
| #10 | (っ◔◡◔)っ | 50% | 30 |
| #11 | jespersietheunissen | 48% | 181 |
| #12 | Galaxy gamer866 | 45% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕽𝖊𝖋𝖑𝖊𝖝 | 98 | 0.0191 |
| #2 | jespersietheunissen | 54 | 0.0162 |
| #3 | Galaxy gamer866 | 34 | 0.0208 |
| #4 | M4fChees~ | 24 | 0.0097 |
| #5 | Vaniks | 15 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕽𝖊𝖋𝖑𝖊𝖝 | 452 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | Vaniks | 210 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | M4fChees~ | 209 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | La Reyna <3 | 165 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Juan Sebastián Hermano | 137 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juan Sebastián Hermano | +6.29 | 63 | 59 |
| #2 | Smartie | +5.97 | 64 | 63 |
| #3 | Rizzle | +4.69 | 58 | 42 |
| #4 | M4fChees~ | +3.27 | 73 | 51 |
| #5 | La Reyna <3 | +2.84 | 54 | 44 |





