








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1084 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Anubis | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4059 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,201 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2054 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3724 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2547 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2876 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,451,386 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 346 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕽𝖊𝖋𝖑𝖊𝖝 | 65% | 37 |
| #2 | thaisoni | 62% | 50 |
| #3 | | 60% | 50 |
| #4 | 1st Lieutenant Aldo raine | 59% | 29 |
| #5 | La Reyna <3 | 57% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M4fChees~ | 28 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | yuh | 18 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | 𝕽𝖊𝖋𝖑𝖊𝖝 | 12 | 0.0168 |
| #4 | La Reyna <3 | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | thaisoni | 6 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M4fChees~ | 574 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #2 | (っ◔◡◔)っ | 484 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | yuh | 288 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | La Reyna <3 | 287 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | Vaniks | 126 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smartie | +3.36 | 62 | 58 |
| #2 | | +3.10 | 72 | 60 |
| #3 | La Reyna <3 | +1.23 | 58 | 39 |
| #4 | M4fChees~ | +0.81 | 68 | 50 |
| #5 | 𝕽𝖊𝖋𝖑𝖊𝖝 | +0.01 | 64 | 45 |





