










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
375 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 950 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 156 | 16% |
| Smokes | 232 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 221 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 341 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $325,278 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schizo Static | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Jewsiph666 | 46% | 26 |
| #3 | rb30e (counterstrikeologist) | 45% | 71 |
| #4 | Vindaddyfresh™ | 45% | 74 |
| #5 | Nug | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Vindaddyfresh™ | 45% | 74 |
| #5 | Nug | 44% | 9 |
| #6 | Vizzard | 44% | 18 |
| #7 | tits magee | 43% | 51 |
| #8 | pas1e | 43% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tits magee | 15 | 0.0155 |
| #2 | rb30e (counterstrikeologist) | 11 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Vindaddyfresh™ | 8 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | pas1e | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Jewsiph666 | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vindaddyfresh™ | 325 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #2 | rb30e (counterstrikeologist) | 156 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | pas1e | 111 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | tits magee | 58 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Schizo Static | 18 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schizo Static | +9.32 | 93 | 74 |
| #2 | rb30e (counterstrikeologist) | +5.14 | 77 | 49 |
| #3 | tits magee | +3.28 | 68 | 32 |
| #4 | Nug | +2.49 | 52 | 39 |
| #5 | Jewsiph666 | +1.36 | 66 | 47 |





