








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 755 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 551 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




203 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7638 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,481 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2471 | 16% |
| Smokes | 4717 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4801 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3492 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,546,233 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 985 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pas1e | 63% | 139 |
| #2 | Vindaddyfresh™ | 59% | 170 |
| #3 | rb30e (counterstrikeologist) | 53% | 254 |
| #4 | Jewsiph666 | 50% | 510 |
| #5 | shaggy | 48% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | shaggy | 48% | 61 |
| 46% | 68 | ||
| #7 | JITTERBUG JENKINS | 46% | 169 |
| #8 | cumdrippa_37 | 45% | 268 |
| #9 | maiL man | 43% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JITTERBUG JENKINS | 70 | 0.0195 |
| #2 | rb30e (counterstrikeologist) | 47 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | Jewsiph666 | 45 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | cumdrippa_37 | 45 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | Vindaddyfresh™ | 18 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cumdrippa_37 | 1223 | 0.22 | 26 min |
| #2 | Vindaddyfresh™ | 770 | 0.23 | 17 min |
| #3 | rb30e (counterstrikeologist) | 557 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #4 | pas1e | 426 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #5 | JITTERBUG JENKINS | 335 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rb30e (counterstrikeologist) | +2.45 | 79 | 43 |
| #2 | cumdrippa_37 | +1.66 | 68 | 64 |
| +1.17 | 63 | 56 | ||
| #4 | tits magee | +1.02 | 69 | 35 |
| #5 | shaggy | +0.97 | 74 | 58 |





