








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 787 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3433 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,325 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8884 | 31% |
| Smokes | 8498 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5703 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5240 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $994,745 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 951 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tits magee | 39 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | rb30e (counterstrikeologist) | 24 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Nug | 15 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | pas1e | 14 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Jewsiph666 | 13 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pas1e | 728 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #2 | rb30e (counterstrikeologist) | 380 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | tits magee | 299 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | granny | 162 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Nug | 125 | 0.05 | 2 min |





