










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
263 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 141 | 27% |
| Smokes | 148 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 111 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 130 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $305,015 of utility $369 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jack james (GROUP LEADER) | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | Schizo Static | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | maiL man | 44% | 18 |
| #4 | Vindaddyfresh | 40% | 20 |
| #5 | pas | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Vindaddyfresh | 40% | 20 |
| #5 | pas | 38% | 16 |
| #6 | granny | 33% | 3 |
| #7 | Nicken Flugit | 33% | 3 |
| #8 | chudmuffin2026 | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vindaddyfresh | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | chudmuffin2026 | 2 | 0.0121 |
| #3 | jack james (GROUP LEADER) | 2 | 0.0137 |
| #4 | maiL man | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | pas | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vindaddyfresh | 95 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #2 | pas | 34 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | chudmuffin2026 | 17 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | Schizo Static | 13 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #5 | maiL man | 11 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schizo Static | +5.88 | 91 | 49 |
| #2 | chudmuffin2026 | +4.88 | 67 | 60 |
| #3 | jack james (GROUP LEADER) | +2.32 | 59 | 37 |
| #4 | Nicken Flugit | +0.70 | 68 | 54 |
| #5 | Vindaddyfresh | +0.39 | 43 | 64 |





