








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 480 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 358 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3509 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,608 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1144 | 12% |
| Smokes | 5000 | 52% |
| HE Grenades | 2074 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1390 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,214,931 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 440 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pas1e | 64% | 101 |
| #2 | Vindaddyfreshâ„¢ | 60% | 124 |
| #3 | rb30e (counterstrikeologist) | 53% | 166 |
| #4 | tits magee | 50% | 510 |
| #5 | cumdrippa_37 | 45% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | rb30e (counterstrikeologist) | 53% | 166 |
| #4 | tits magee | 50% | 510 |
| #5 | cumdrippa_37 | 45% | 164 |
| #6 | shaggy | 44% | 36 |
| #7 | JITTERBUG JENKINS | 40% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tits magee | 123 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | JITTERBUG JENKINS | 34 | 0.0171 |
| #3 | rb30e (counterstrikeologist) | 33 | 0.0099 |
| #4 | cumdrippa_37 | 32 | 0.0094 |
| #5 | Vindaddyfreshâ„¢ | 11 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cumdrippa_37 | 743 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #2 | Vindaddyfreshâ„¢ | 644 | 0.27 | 14 min |
| #3 | tits magee | 601 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #4 | rb30e (counterstrikeologist) | 374 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | pas1e | 338 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rb30e (counterstrikeologist) | +1.97 | 78 | 45 |
| #2 | cumdrippa_37 | +1.92 | 70 | 63 |
| #3 | shaggy | +1.40 | 74 | 55 |
| #4 | tits magee | +1.16 | 70 | 36 |
| #5 | JITTERBUG JENKINS | +0.02 | 81 | 50 |





