








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 359 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2194 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2329 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3527 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2224 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3450 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,723,635 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 358 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schiziod | 80% | 30 |
| #2 | abe! | 68% | 31 |
| #3 | ⛟oscar⛟ | 67% | 64 |
| #4 | Jewsiph666 | 64% | 101 |
| #5 | tits magee | 63% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vindaddyfresh™ | 1309 | 0.20 | 28 min |
| #2 | rb30e (counterstrikeologist) | 313 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | ⛟oscar⛟ | 303 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #4 | tits magee | 252 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Schizo Static | 145 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟oscar⛟ | +4.45 | 74 | 66 |
| #2 | Schiziod | +4.24 | 88 | 70 |
| #3 | rb30e (counterstrikeologist) | +4.19 | 76 | 50 |
| #4 | Schizo Static | +3.27 | 86 | 70 |
| #5 | Nug | +3.25 | 59 | 37 |





