








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 426 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1044 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,577 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1674 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1126 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1517 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1260 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $399,624 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yescob | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | fredzy | 59% | 54 |
| #3 | ✪【Careless】 | 59% | 63 |
| #4 | Whoopie Golbög | 57% | 53 |
| #5 | RobDob | 55% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pablo | 3 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | RobDob | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Kjell | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | ✪【Careless】 | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | fredzy | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fr4ll3 | +2.03 | 65 | 67 |
| #2 | yescob | +1.59 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | Pablo | +1.48 | 75 | 74 |
| #4 | RobDob | +0.95 | 68 | 61 |
| #5 | Whoopie Golbög | +0.84 | 50 | 77 |





