








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 528 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 364 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Esplay | 5 matches | 1,784 | |
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4946 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,278 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5263 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4782 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4427 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3806 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,121,151 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 651 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | wepztah | 49% | 43 |
| #9 | sS | 47% | 36 |
| #10 | fredzy | 46% | 127 |
| #11 | Whoopie Golbög | 43% | 108 |
| #12 | babyImpala | 28% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oLaBaNdOlA | 18 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | Whoopie Golbög | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | ✪【Careless】 | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | fredzy | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Jaggejaevlig⛴ | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪【Careless】 | 394 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | oLaBaNdOlA | 328 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #3 | Jaggejaevlig⛴ | 327 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #4 | RobDob | 303 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | fredzy | 264 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fr4ll3 | +3.44 | 73 | 74 |
| #2 | oLaBaNdOlA | +2.50 | 86 | 70 |
| #3 | Jaggejaevlig⛴ | +1.95 | 75 | 76 |
| #4 | wepztah | +0.56 | 72 | 69 |
| #5 | ✪【Careless】 | +0.45 | 77 | 70 |





