








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 424 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Esplay | 16 matches | 1,878 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,500 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3832 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3390 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3264 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3014 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $750,991 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sS | 59% | 54 |
| #2 | ✪【Careless】 | 58% | 141 |
| #3 | Sniss | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | RobDob | 51% | 191 |
| #5 | Whoopie Golbög | 50% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪【Careless】 | 430 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | Kjell | 427 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | RobDob | 378 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | Whoopie Golbög | 322 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #5 | sS | 201 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪【Careless】 | +0.75 | 76 | 72 |
| #2 | Whoopie Golbög | +0.45 | 55 | 75 |
| #3 | Sniss | +0.35 | 48 | 81 |
| #4 | Kjell | +0.33 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | Mr. Dingledonge | +0.12 | 78 | 52 |





