








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 453 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2958 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,922 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4067 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3100 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2687 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2068 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $344,226 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 742 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pizza_Heart | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | XYC | 66% | 47 |
| #3 | incstinct | 60% | 43 |
| #4 | MrZxmbie | 58% | 78 |
| #5 | Luu | 56% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Luu | 56% | 109 |
| #6 | DANNYG-NUTBUTTER-EMPIRE♡ | 52% | 66 |
| #7 | J | 50% | 14 |
| #8 | i drink and drive | 48% | 50 |
| #9 | Kank Dr.Jerry | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luu | 21 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | i drink and drive | 20 | 0.0206 |
| #3 | DANNYG-NUTBUTTER-EMPIRE♡ | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Pizza_Heart | 4 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | J | 3 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luu | 360 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | MrZxmbie | 178 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | i drink and drive | 103 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Pizza_Heart | 103 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | DANNYG-NUTBUTTER-EMPIRE♡ | 87 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | incstinct | +3.93 | 86 | 39 |
| #2 | XYC | +3.03 | 76 | 52 |
| #3 | ##RR dawnz | +2.99 | 75 | 66 |
| #4 | MrZxmbie | +1.61 | 64 | 69 |
| #5 | Luu | +0.84 | 42 | 53 |





