








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 774 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 191 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3057 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,434 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2098 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3020 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2020 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3296 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,352,283 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2047 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luu | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | XYC | 57% | 37 |
| #3 | MrZxmbie | 53% | 150 |
| #4 | ##RR dawnz | 52% | 66 |
| #5 | Kank Juan-jænpièrre⛴⛟ | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J | 43 | 0.0133 |
| #2 | Kank Dr.Jerry | 14 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | MrZxmbie | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | ##RR dawnz | 9 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | Kank Juan-jænpièrre⛴⛟ | 7 | 0.0139 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ##RR dawnz | 331 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #2 | MrZxmbie | 226 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | J | 106 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Luu | 104 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | XYC | 62 | 0.08 | 1 min |





