








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 284 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2286 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,794 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2446 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1099 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1714 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1535 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $700,325 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 232 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ✪dgm<3♛ #kung | 53% | 17 |
| #6 | washed | 52% | 52 |
| #7 | Ailu | 50% | 12 |
| #8 | Pel<tsi | 50% | 18 |
| #9 | Johannes | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | washed | 12 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | Johannes | 6 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | janoistensankari | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Pel<tsi | 3 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | Ailu | 2 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johannes | 105 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | janoistensankari | 97 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | washed | 77 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | MolsteGG | 52 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pel<tsi | 29 | 0.08 | 1 min |





