










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 108 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1841 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,463 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2008 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1631 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2310 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1514 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $452,494 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brutus | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | washed | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | Johannes | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | janoistensankari | 53% | 55 |
| #5 | Ailu | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brutus | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | washed | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | Johannes | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | janoistensankari | 53% | 55 |
| #5 | Ailu | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | janoistensankari | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Johannes | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johannes | 120 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | janoistensankari | 81 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | brutus | 74 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ailu | 53 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | washed | 24 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MolsteGG | +1.51 | 52 | 63 |
| #2 | Ailu | +1.28 | 90 | 71 |
| #3 | janoistensankari | -0.89 | 61 | 53 |
| #4 | washed | -1.25 | 53 | 57 |
| #5 | brutus | -1.69 | 58 | 72 |





