








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 157 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1448 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,804 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1090 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1051 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 958 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 705 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $566,808 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1967 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kratos | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | -cxr | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | louie | 58% | 43 |
| #4 | clown | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | blizzy | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | -cxr | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | louie | 58% | 43 |
| #4 | clown | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | blizzy | 50% | 8 |
| #6 | JaCk0 | 50% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaCk0 | 23 | 0.0237 |
| #2 | -cxr | 10 | 0.0132 |
| #3 | louie | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | blizzy | 3 | 0.0200 |
| #5 | clown | 2 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaCk0 | 265 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #2 | louie | 80 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | -cxr | 32 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kratos | 13 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | clown | 9 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kratos | +7.32 | 97 | 45 |
| #2 | baby | +3.07 | 72 | 54 |
| #3 | -cxr | +2.34 | 91 | 35 |
| #4 | louie | +2.22 | 82 | 47 |
| #5 | clown | +0.34 | 88 | 13 |





