








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 383 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




145 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5775 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,915 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1395 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2436 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1362 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1722 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $287,130 of utility $28 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2060 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | JaCk0 | 49% | 97 |
| #8 | louie | 46% | 218 |
| #9 | DivIne | 46% | 52 |
| #10 | clown | 45% | 130 |
| #11 | blizzy | 37% | 63 |





