








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 431 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




89 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1974 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,126 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 371 | 33% |
| Smokes | 285 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 243 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 227 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $49,085 of utility $8 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1895 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | my poo smells like haribos | 74% | 27 |
| #2 | Koffi | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | Lt. piiko | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | dav | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | JaCk0 | 40% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaCk0 | 80 | 0.0336 |
| #2 | -cxr | 38 | 0.0314 |
| #3 | louie | 20 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | clown | 10 | 0.0104 |
| #5 | dav | 5 | 0.0134 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaCk0 | 649 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| #2 | louie | 197 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Baba Yaga | 71 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | -cxr | 67 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Lt. piiko | 57 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lt. piiko | +7.11 | 79 | 60 |
| #2 | dav | +5.92 | 88 | 38 |
| #3 | Koffi | +5.09 | 89 | 45 |
| #4 | Baba Yaga | +4.52 | 81 | 61 |
| #5 | my poo smells like haribos | +4.08 | 61 | 20 |





