








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 560 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4823 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,263 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2504 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2755 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2714 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3290 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,548,358 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 804 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baby | 58% | 43 |
| #2 | JaCk0 | 47% | 150 |
| #3 | -cxr | 46% | 218 |
| #4 | clown | 40% | 167 |
| #5 | blizzy | 35% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baby | 58% | 43 |
| #2 | JaCk0 | 47% | 150 |
| #3 | -cxr | 46% | 218 |
| #4 | clown | 40% | 167 |
| #5 | blizzy | 35% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -cxr | 56 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | JaCk0 | 47 | 0.0157 |
| #3 | blizzy | 33 | 0.0135 |
| #4 | clown | 19 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | baby | 12 | 0.0148 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaCk0 | 768 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #2 | -cxr | 184 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #3 | baby | 128 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | clown | 115 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | blizzy | 31 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baby | +2.46 | 63 | 55 |
| #2 | -cxr | +1.40 | 83 | 36 |
| #3 | louie | +1.18 | 79 | 44 |
| #4 | clown | -0.20 | 87 | 19 |
| #5 | JaCk0 | -1.18 | 52 | 36 |





