








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 434 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 179 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,215 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2492 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2604 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1426 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2693 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,531,804 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 805 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chunky | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | Fehleno | 49% | 168 |
| #3 | GobsmackedPenguin | 49% | 162 |
| #4 | 1GigaB3nz | 48% | 145 |
| #5 | e-grrrl | 47% | 312 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | EzG33sY | 44% | 191 |
| #9 | Woody | 43% | 54 |
| #10 | sarcasticeli | 42% | 50 |
| #11 | king_cobra8 | 38% | 65 |
| #12 | Granatmelone | 34% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | e-grrrl | 35 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Fehleno | 13 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | EzG33sY | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | GobsmackedPenguin | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | 1GigaB3nz | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | e-grrrl | 797 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #2 | EzG33sY | 565 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | Fehleno | 200 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | GobsmackedPenguin | 130 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jean Rean | 126 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chunky | +4.50 | 78 | 50 |
| #2 | e-grrrl | +3.69 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | Jean Rean | +0.71 | 56 | 56 |
| #4 | 1GigaB3nz | +0.49 | 26 | 44 |
| #5 | king_cobra8 | +0.15 | 72 | 11 |





